


Look My way

by Emilx311



Category: Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Blindness, F/M, M/M, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 17:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3904540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilx311/pseuds/Emilx311
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation of Lucifer Rosemaunt's story "Look my way". Can be read alone.</p><p> War-scarred!Raoul, ie blind!Raoul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Raoul took a deep breath and forced himself to be calm and in control. He had lost control before, and because of that his world was now one of darkness. Stepping carefully to the side the viscount bowed politely to the approaching group of actors and granted them a simple “good evening”. They replied in the same manner before moving on. Raoul himself simply continued on his customary route, acting as though he’d never been interrupted. Soon enough he found himself back at box four where Henri waited patiently for him.

“Your band is tied differently sir” Henri pointed out referring to the cloth he had tied over his eyes before they had left for the opera house earlier. Even though it appeared to be a statement Raoul knew that it was really meant as a question. 

“It fell” he said simply as he took his customary seat. Henri made no further comments on the subject.

The feature tonight was _Il Muto_ , a comedy that Raoul couldn’t say he was particularly fond of. Once the opera had begun he let his mind wander. He wondered who the man he’d met earlier was. He was nothing like the others in the opera house, or out of it for that matter. He smelled like the oil used on organs, parchment, charcoal, and something that Raoul couldn’t place. He moved almost silently, and yet for all of this he talked like a gentleman. He had a trace of a foreign accent, Persian perhaps. Also he did not act like the others. He did not treat Raoul as though he were made of glass, or as though he was a deity. No the mystery man treated him as you would anyone else; this was what really drew Raoul’s attention. It had been a long time since someone besides Henri had done that. Suddenly a deep voice penetrated the opera house. 

“Did I not instruct that box five was to be kept empty?!” It boomed, commenting obviously on the presence of Firmin and one of his lady friends in that box. Raoul knew that if he could see he would be staring at the owner of said voice in shock. As it was he was most likely gaping in the general direction of where it was coming from. It was the same man he’d been talking to earlier.

“He’s here, the phantom of the opera” one of the chorus girls, Meg Giry he believed whispered. 

“It’s him” another one said in the same way. He was fairly certain that that voice belonged to Christine Daae 

“The phantom?” Raoul mouthed. He had of course heard all about the phantom of the opera from the cast and crew; not to mention the fact the managers insisted on reading him every one of the man’s notes. He didn’t see why they had to do that when he always told them just to follow the instructions, but that was a subject for another time. With his identity revealed the man’s response to his question earlier made quite a bit more sense. _A resident and an outcast_ hun, I wonder why he stays apart from the others.

Trying to salvage the opera Carlotta started to sing again. Raoul winced slightly as she hits notes that he _knew_ were off. He wished that the managers had taken his advice and fired her, but for some strange reason they’d insisted on keeping the singer. The reason was a mystery as even he could tell that she was past her prime. Just then said dive let out a horrible croak. 

Biting his lip Raoul tried very hard not to burst out laughing. Perhaps this would finally force her out of the theater. He permitted a small smirk to grace his lips as he thought that perhaps that was the goal of whoever had caused this. 

Well Raoul was trying to control his emotions Carlotta had let out several more croaks and had rushed off the stage in tears. The curtain was quickly closed and the managers rushed on.

“Ladies and gentlemen we apologize. The performance will continue in 10 minutes time, when the roll of the Countess will be played by Miss Daae. Until then we would crave your indulgence for a few moments.” Firmin said quickly.

“Meanwhile we'd like to give you the ballet from act three of tonight's opera” Andre added. It took a moment before the music got started again, but once it did they managed to perform the ballet and then get through the rest of the opera smoothly. 

Christine sang the lead part beautifully throughout the rest of the opera. Raoul had to admit that she had a gorgeous voice. Clapping along with the rest of the theater Raoul made sure that the cloth over his eyes was still in place before making his way down to the scheduled gala. He grimaced slightly at the thought of said event. A few years ago he’d have been exited and eager to attend, but now he had absolutely no wish to be a part of such a display. And yet because of his station he had no choice in the matter. Besides he owed it to the opera house to play the charming (well as charming as one with his disadvantages can be) patron. It was in the job description after all. 

“Henri, how would you feel about becoming a viscount for the evening?” Raoul proposed grinning at his valet. 

“No thank you sir, I believe my current post to be the more manageable position at the moment” Henri replied, his eyes sparkling with mirth. 

“Some help you are proving to be” Raoul huffed, sensing the small smirk that had appeared on Henri’s face. “Well time to go immerse myself into the awaiting nest of vipers and prying Pandora’s” he said irritably. 

“You are not required to remain there for long, a couple hours at most. You really are being far too dramatic.” Henri scolded good-naturedly. 

“I know, but I detest these functions! All of those ignorant fools staring at me, offering their sympathy and then whispering about me behind my back when they think I can’t hear them. It’s all so superficial!” Raoul complained.

“I am aware of that sir, but it is your duty as a viscount and as the main patron of the opera house to attend these events.” Henri reminded him. 

“Duty, how I have come to hate that word” Raoul sighed. “But I must still abide by its rules” he added quickly; before Henri got the chance to start lecturing him. 

Raoul fixed his best Viscount smile on his face; the one that made him look high class and polite, but distant. He knew that it was the sort of look people (even if they weren’t aware of it) wanted, and expected him to have. With a bit of help from Henri Raoul made it down to the entrance hall with the grand staircase. He stood beside the managers ready to greet all the guests. 

For the next hour Raoul forced himself to keep on smiling as he greeted different patrons and high members of society. He shook the men’s hands, kissed the ladies (never overstepping his bounds of course) and replied politely to each one by name. He acted every bit the young, eligible viscount. He was certain that had he not received his injuries he would at present be in the midst of being swarmed by young noble ladies. 

About that he felt torn. On one hand he was extremely grateful that he now had no reasons to prolong his time at this cursed event. On the other had he never been injured he might be out on the dance floor flirting and dancing with a nice girl right now. Indeed had he never received his injuries he would most likely be having the time of his life at this event. 

Raoul shook his head slightly. Those thoughts would do him no good. What was done was done and no amount of fantasizing could take the consequences away. His only option was to continue to live with his fate. Finally the managers introduced the last of the guests, and Raoul was freed to enjoy the evening. Fake smile still in place Raoul inclined his head in the managers’ direction and slunk away into the crowd. Henri was instantly at his side. 

“If you’d follow me please viscount, there’s something you need to take care of immediately” Henri said just loud enough so that the people around them could hear. Raoul nodded, knowing very well that this was all really just a ruse that would permit them to sneak off. Henri led him out to the front of the Opera house.

“I’ll go fetch the carriage, if you wouldn’t mind waiting here for a moment viscount” Henri said heading off to do just that knowing Raoul wouldn’t care.

“Leaving so soon?” A voice asked from behind Raoul. 

“Indeed I am Monsieur fantome. I have an important business transaction tomorrow and I wish to be well rested.” Raoul replied in an offhand way. 

“Really is that so? It seemed to me as if you were simply trying to escape” Erik taunted. 

“Not everything is as it appears” Raoul said gravely. He’d learned that lesson the hard way. When he was young he’d seen nothing but the glory of the navy, the way everyone seemed to think better of you if you wore a navy uniform. His inability to see deeper than that had cost him the opportunity to see anything at all. 

“Wise words that unfortunately do not always prove true” Erik replied thinking about some of the things in his life that were exactly how they appeared. 

“Perhaps not always, but often” was the viscount’s reply. Erik glared what would a boy know of such things? 

“And what would someone in your place know of such things Monsieur viscount?” Erik demanded voice hard.

“More than one would think it appears” Raoul replied, calm as always. 

“One would be surprised that you could know much of anything that needs to be seen” Erik said angrily. “O I apologise, I didn’t mean to make light of such a sensitive subject.” He said, once again feigning an apology as his hand reached out to gently trace the cloth over Raoul’s eyes.

“Do not fear Monsieur, I learned this lesson before my accident” Raoul reassured, completely ignoring Erik’s fake apology as well as his hand. Erik glared at the still irritably calm boy before smirking as an idea came to mind. 

“How comforting, and here I thought the only thing your head was good for was to hold all this hair” he punctuated his sentence by pulling Raoul’s ribbon out of his hair causing it to cascade down his neck as it fell out of the ponytail it had been in. “Nice to know that you are intelligent enough to learn.” 

“Was that really necessary monsieur?” Raoul demanded his words laced with the tinniest bit of anger and irritation that he was trying to suppress. He’d already blown up at this man twice, and had no wish to embarrass himself by doing so a third time, no matter how much the other was asking for it. 

“I believe so, yes” Erik replied smugly. He really enjoyed destroying the blonde’s facade; enjoyed seeing a side of him that he kept hidden from regular society. 

“What do you want monsieur? I highly doubt that you sought me out simply for a chat” Raoul asked with an irritated sigh. 

“I was bored, and I find playing with you to be rather……amusing” Erik stated. 

“How nice to know that you’ve found a use for me” Raoul replied through gritted teeth. He tried to calm himself down; the phantom obviously was hoping for a reaction, so Raoul could not give one. It was as simple as that. Luckily for him and his steadily failing control Henri chose that moment to appear. 

“The carriage is ready viscount” he said. Raoul nodded and they silently left the opera house. Erik watched them from the shadows with a smirk. 

“Yes viscount I believe that I have indeed found a use for you” he whispered; smirk growing ever bigger as he planned. He had a new toy to play with now, and that could mean nothing but trouble for the opera house and its unfortunate patron. 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a couple of weeks since the gala and Raoul had been exceptionally busy, and had therefore not been seen at the opera house since the night of said gala. Erik for his part was getting angrier and angrier at the world. There were many reasons for this; the managers were ignoring all his orders, Carlotta had been re-hired, and Christine was doing her best to ignore him. Unfortunately for the managers they were blissfully unaware of these things.

"Another of these blasted notes! The hooligan who keeps sending them must really think us stupid!" Firmin growled tearing it up. "We have never taken orders from a ghost, and we never will!" he finished with a flourish.

"But what about Il Muto, he revealed himself then. And there have been a lot of accidents recently" replied Andre, the more cautious of the two.

"A trick, just like all the notes! All of the accidents were just that, accidents!" Firmin said firmly. Andre didn't argue this time.

Erik glared at the two idiots through the wall. If they refused to take a hint he'd have to give them a clue. It was time to really show theses managers whose opera house this was. How to do so however was a problem. Perhaps he should try giving them his orders verbally instead of in note form he thought. Scare them a bit, and they'd be putty in his hands; Erik smirked.

It was fortunate perhaps that his was the day Raoul chose to finally make his appearance. The blond walked calmly into the opera house, Henri at his side as always. His manner was impeccable as always, no emotion showed through. Underneath his calm façade however he was steaming.

Like another member of the opera house, Raoul had not been having a good few weeks. His brother had been pressuring him once again to find a nice young lady to marry. That was not unusual, and would not normally have caused him to be so irritable, but when combined with all of the other things that had gone wrong this week it was definitely enough. As for the other contributors he's had a couple of business ventures run a muck. One had been an honest ending, the man in charge had died, and the company had fallen into ruin. The second had been a fraud, a couple of young men thinking they could fool the blind patron. Raoul had sensed their intentions immediately, but eh whole mess had cause him a lot of paperwork. Completing that had taken him quite a few days, he however had a bad feeling that this venture was about to cause him just as much grief.

"Aa Viscount" Firmin cried as he spotted Raoul, or more specifically spotting a victim for all his complaints. "Thank goodness you've returned. There have been many accidents these past few weeks." He took Raoul by the arm and began leading him towards his office. Raoul for his part could feel a headache coming on.

Erik had during positioned himself just outside the entrance to his tunnel leading to the managers' office. The moment he heard the door open he threw his voice to the other side of the room and bellowed "You dare to ignore the orders of the opera ghost? I have been kind to you; however should you continue to disregard my demands things will get much worse!" Satisfied that his message was as clear as it could be he sat back to watch or well hear the show.

During Erik's announcement Andre and Firmin had developed identical looks of horror that, had anyone been present would have sent them into hysterics. Luckily the only other person there was Raoul as Henri had been requested to wait outside. Raoul had developed a sense of foreboding dread. Not about what the phantom was planning, but about exactly how much clean up he was going he was going to have to do for the weeks he was away. 'Three weeks' he groaned silently 'how much damage can these people do in three weeks?' Quite a lot apparently.

"If you gentlemen wouldn't mind I'd appreciate an explanation of what just happened?" Raoul said plainly.

"Er...well...that is...you see we" Andre stuttered trying to find some way to say it that didn't reflect too badly on the two of them.

"The phantom has been sending us notes with his ludicrous demands and we refused to have our money, resources, and time on a fraud or madman" Firmin said haughtily. Erik narrowed his eyes, how stupid were these men? Raoul twitched; he was of a similar opinion at the moment. He however had to be polite about it.

"Yes I can understand your sentiments monsieurs, however as he had just proven; ghost, madman, or whatever else he can get inside the opera house! Have you even begun to think about the danger he could be to our employees?" Raoul demanded. Erik smirked, it was nice to see that at least one other person in the opera house who could actually use their brain. Andre and Firmin simply shook their heads, looking quite abashed.

"Now then, it would probably be best for you to just show me all of the notes" Raoul requested, although all of the people present could tell that it was more of demand.

"Right away Mr. Viscount" the terrified managers squeaked, and hurried away to do just that. Erik had to bite his lip to keep from laughing; although underneath that he was slightly annoyed. These idiots brushed his demands away with barely a second thought, and yet they almost religiously obeyed the viscount. Something would have to be one about that. Erik twitched; these new managers seemed to be getting more irritating by the second.

The managers had by this time managed to find the notes and were presenting them to the blond. Raoul took them and carefully placed them inside his carrying case.

"I will examine these very carefully with my reader, and then carefully decide on the best course of action. For now pay the ghost one salary in the way he had instructed" Raoul ordered as he left the office. Erik grinned, he would let this patron live then he decided.

The moment Raoul exited the room Henri appeared at his side. One look at the viscount told him everything he wanted to know.

"The meeting didn't go as planned I see" Henri stated.

"Yes, I fear that this may very well end up being a mistake" Raoul replied, talking about his choice to act as a patron for the opera house. "Those two are bumbling idiots who should have stayed in the scrap metal business."

"What did they do this time viscount?" Henri asked.

"They completely disregarded the safety of everyone living here by ignoring the phantoms notes because they believed him to be a madman! Madman or ghost he can still harm and kill!" Raoul stated. Henri made a noise of agreement. He knew that Raoul put peoples' safety above all house.

"I will need your help to examine the notes once we are back at the manor" Raoul informed him.

"Of course viscount" Henri replied.

~Two days later~

Everything around the opera house had been relatively calm these past few days. Erik had been lying low, waiting to see what Raoul would do. The managers had given him his salary, and were now also waiting for instructions from Raoul.

Raoul for his part had had Henri read out all of the noted to him, and he had been compiling lists of the demands he thought were reasonable, and the ones he thought weren't. Some of the ones he was willing to follow included the ghost's salary (he had more than enough money), keeping box five empty, and not hunting for him (that wasn't exactly in the notes, but he doubted the ghost wanted it to happen). The things that weren't reasonable (mostly because he couldn't do anything about them) were Carlotta, Christine, and firing people.

Walking into the opera house Raoul turned left and with Henri at this side as always headed straight for the managers' office. The managers themselves jumped up and rushed to greet him the moment he walked in. Erik; who was once again watching the proceedings from the shadows could see how anxious they were. He smirked, no matter what happened he would win.

"Aa Mr. le viscount, how nice to see you" Mr. Firmin said politely.

"Please gentlemen, we have been working together for quite some time now, I do not believe that these pleasantries are really necessary. And so without further ado to business" Raoul said sitting down. He quickly laid out all of the papers from his brief case on the table in front of them. "Now I have spent the past couple days looking over the notes we have received thus far. I have made some decisions about them all of which _will_ be followed." At this he gazed sternly at both Andre and Firmin. Erik felt his smirk growing wider. After having said this Raoul passed them his lists of what he considered reasonable and what he considered reasonable.

"I have no control over who you cat, but it is my opinion that his casting may have some advantages. Now that that has been said I have agreed to pay his salary" here both managers began to protest, but Raoul held up his hand. "It is my money, and it will help guaranty the safety of everyone in the opera house, so I consider it money well spent." He then went down his lists outlining his reasons for each item. The managers said nothing, and simply accepted his choices because they could tell that nothing was going to change his mind. Erik was a bit miffed that the two idiots who ran his theater weren't obeying all his orders without protest, but on the other hand he was glad to see that Raoul at least seemed to genuinely care about the opera house.

"If that is all gentlemen, I will take my leave" Raoul said. "I expect all the measures we discussed to be put into place immediately" he added gazing at them sternly, an unnerving thing with his unseeing eyes.

"O-Of course viscount" Firmin stuttered, trying and failing miserably to sound confident. Satisfied Raoul and Henri left the office.

"If you don't mind meeting me in box four, I believe that a walk around the opera house will do me some good." Raoul told Henri who gave a positive answer, and wandered off to wait for the blond. The truth of the matter was that Raoul was fairly certain that the ghost had been listening to his conversation with the managers, and probably wanted to talk to him.

This assumption proved to be quite true. Raoul had barely taken two steps when Erik made himself known.

"It's nice to see that your head actually does do something more then hold your hair." Raoul smiled, he was not surprised at the man's snarky remark, and in fact he was beginning to enjoy them. They were after all the sorts of things no one else would say to him.

"Likewise it's nice to know that you spy on our business meetings" Raoul shot right back at him. Erik smirked, this kid had spunk.

"But of course I do, I must after all insure that my opera house is run properly" Erik replied easily.

"Of course you must, forgive me for ever thinking otherwise." Raoul muttered sarcastically.

"I may one day" Erik stated.

"Now shall we get down to business, since I believe that's why you sought me out?" Raoul asked. "But first I would appreciate it if you could tell me your real name. After all if we are to be having business discussions regularly then knowing your name would be an asset." Erik had to admit that the viscount had a point, and he supposed that acquiring an ally in the blond might be beneficial.

"You may address me as Erik" He informed that blond.

"Erik, it suits you" Raoul said surprising even himself. To hide his embarrassment he quickly steered the conversation to business. The two discussed the relevant points of the opera house's running, maintenance, expenses etc. Finally after about two hours Raoul decided that they had accomplished enough for one day.

"I believe that that that is all that really needs to be converted today; but shall we have another meeting say this time next week?" Raoul asked. Erik gave his consent, and so the rocky partnership began.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been about four months since Erik and Raoul had first joined forces. They had without fail been meeting every week to discuss the opera house, and later anything they really wished to. At first the two had been surprised to find out how much they actually had in common such as their love of music. Erik had been quite angry to discover that the blond had as a child considered studying the violin, but denied it in favour of his naval ambitions.

They had also in each other found someone who could understand what it meant to keep humanity at an arm’s length. The opera ghost had been quick to realise that though Raoul may not sport a physical mask he wore an emotional one most of the time. And to his everlasting shock he could also understand why. It was obvious that most of the people Raoul met found his eyes and his scars disconcerting. He could not however find the courage to tell the viscount what lay beyond his mask, and Raoul never asked. He knew that the ghost wore one, but he didn’t see the importance of knowing what it covered as he would never be able to see it in the first place. 

This however did not mean that the two always got along. Everything Raoul had told the managers all those months ago had remained true, but as always in business new issues arose, issues that Erik claimed Raoul refused to deal with. Like for instance, _Carlotta_. 

“I said no! For the last time I cannot just fire her” Raoul said. They had this argument almost every week, but Erik continued to pester him about the lead. 

“Why not? Christine has a much better voice then her, and she deserves to be the star! Not only that, but the audiences love her!” Erik argued. Raoul bit his lip to stop himself from sighing in irritation and sadness. They say all roads lead to Rome, and it appeared that Christine was Erik’s Rome. He had admitted to himself only a few weeks prior that he had begun to develop feelings for the ghost.

He adored the man’s voice, a voice too beautiful…too pure to be entirely human. He loved the ghost’s sense of humour, sarcastic as it was, but most of all he loved the way the ghost treated him as he would anyone else. He knew that that was the true catalyst to his feelings. The ghost didn’t dwell on his title, or his disability. Instead he treated Raoul as simply another human, it was wonderfully refreshing. The only problem was that the man was completely obsessed with Christine.

“As I’ve told you a million times, casting is the managers’ job! I can, and have for that matter given my opinion, but I have no real power in the final decision.” Raoul replied tiredly. He wished the other man would just give it up already. Erik for his part simply glared daggers at his partner. “And on that note, I think it would be best if we adjourned for the day” He added quickly before Erik could start up the argument again. Erik sighed irritatedly but grabbed the blond’s hand and began to guide, well pull him through the passages back up to the opera house. Pushing open the pillar Erik stepped out, and pulled Raoul with him. Turning silently he slipped back into the passages leaving the viscount alone. Raoul swallowed the lump of disappointment in his throat and then turning exited the box silently and made his way to the entrance to box four. Stepping inside he greeted Henri with a nod of his head. 

“You are ready to depart Viscount?” He asked. Raoul nodded once again, and the pair left the box in silence. Erik watched them go, anger curing through his veins. ‘Couldn’t do anything about it’ he thought in contempt. ‘I would have threatened to stop giving them money until they bowed to my wishes’. 

Growling he whirled around, and began making his way to Christine’s dressing room. He had not visited his protégé in quite some time because of theater issues, and well ghost business so he figured that it would do him good to see her. 

Christine for her part had never been happier than in the past few weeks. Ever since the night of _Il Muto_ where she had played the lead she’d live in fear of what would happen to her next. But that night had also ended up being the best of her life. She’d met a young nobleman there, the son of a rather wealthy duke who’d apparently taken a shine to her. They’d danced the night away together and he had immediately asked for permission to court her. She’d granted it, and so courted her he had. 

Smiling she fingered the jewelled band around her finger. Just a week ago he had proposed to her, right after she’d told him about her angel. No, her ghost. She shuddered. She was in fact to leave with him this very evening. He had invited her to stay with him in his estates until the wedding, and she eager to flee from the horrors she now knew the opera house concealed had agreed readily. 

Folding her last dress she sighed happily. Soon she would be free of these nightmares and in just a few short months she would be wed. She simply had to depart without the ghost noticing. This unfortunately would end up proving impossible as Erik was just outside her room. 

“What is this?” Erik bellowed from behind the mirror. He felt shock, fear and even more rage then before cursing through him. She couldn’t be leaving; she wouldn’t-no matter what he had to do to get her to stay. 

“A-angel” Christine stuttered trying desperately to find an excuse that would satisfy him. Just as she opened her mouth to say something about her having been given a new dressing room the door flew open and in stepped her fiancé. 

“Christine darling, we really must be on our way” he said grabbing her last bags. “The carriage is waiting for us” he said turning on his heel and leaving. With one slight backward glance and a mouthed ‘I’m sorry it’s for the best’ Christine followed him out of the opera house, and out of the ghost’s reach. 

Erik was frozen in shock for a few moments before the reality of the situation came crashing down on him. “No” he whispered before rage began to consume him. Stepping angrily through the mirror he began to completely destroy everything that was left in the room. “They will pay!” he screamed not entirely certain he knew who he was talking about. 

Raoul had during this time been waiting for Henri to bring the carriage around. He was still burning with irritation at the ghost’s words and actions. ‘Why can’t he get it through his head that I can’t DO anything about his issues?! Casting is out of my jurisdiction’ he thought for the thousands time. If he was honest with himself he was more than just slightly jealous of Christine. Erik was just so obsessed with her, and worse he knew that Christine didn’t care for him nearly as much, if she even cared for him at all. He wished that the ghost would think about him that way, even just once…

Raoul shook his head quickly to help clear his head. It would be best not to let that train of thought go any further. Erik was quite obviously attracted to pretty females, not battle scared males. He once again attempted to purge such thoughts from his head when an ear splitting scream of pure rage and despair pierced the air. 

“Wait a moment Henri” Raoul murmured when he heard the man’s footsteps approaching. He recognized that voice, and he knew that no one but him would dare to investigate that scream. 

After completely destroying Christine’s old room Erik had screamed his fury out. He was blinded by rage that knew no bounds. He knew that no one in the opera house would dare to investigate the noise until hours later. That was why he was incredibly surprised when someone knocked on the door. He made no response, and simply glared at the offending object as though it had produced the noise itself. After a couple of heartbeats the door was pushed open to reveal the blond patron of the opera house. 

“What are you doing here?” Erik demanded irritably. 

“Strange noises have been reported from this chamber” Raoul replied simply. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes before Erik finally realised that the viscount would not be leaving until he had been given some form of explanation. 

“Christine left” was all he said. He could literally see comprehension dawning on the blond’s face. 

“What are you planning on doing?” Raoul asked forcing himself to remain calm. That made Erik pause. What was he planning on doing? For once the ghost had no clue. He wanted to bring Christine back to his side, but she quite obviously didn’t want to be there. His rage came back tenfold, he had given her everything and she’d thrown it back in his face. 

Sensing the ghost’s sudden mood change Raoul reached out and placed his hand on the ghost’s shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. 

“She had such a future here” he whispered looking sadly into the other man’s unseeing eyes.

“Not if her heart wasn’t in it” Raoul pointed out. Erik paused; the blond had a just point. Even if he forced Christine back to the stage-back to him her heart would remain with the man she’d chosen. Erik growled it appeared as if his only option was to let her go. He sank to his knees in agony. Raoul sank down with him, his hand still on the man’s shoulder. They stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time. 

“Henri will be getting concerned” Raoul said quietly at last. Erik to his surprise felt his mouth open to request-no order the Viscount to stay. Instead he fought down those instincts and stood, stepping out of the other man’s hold. 

“Very well” he said tonelessly as he stepped through the mirror and into a world Raoul could not enter. Raoul simply stood where he had been sitting before, left to wonder what he had done to anger the ghost so. 

Biting his lip slightly Raoul clenched his fingers together. He tried to ignore the wave of hurt that struck him. ‘I shouldn’t care what he does’ he thought, but for some reason he did. A single tear worked its way down his cheek. 

Erik had been the first person to treat him like an equal, but more than that like a human since his accident. That had somehow morphed into something much stronger, but he knew now. No-if he was honest with himself he’d known all along that the ghost didn’t return his feelings. Not even those of friendship. 

Little did he know that during his silent lecture the main subject had been watching him through the mirror. Erik stared in shock at the slumped figure of the viscount. An unfamiliar feeling rose in his chest. He fought off the urge to go and comfort the blond. He turned away quickly, but not quick enough to miss seeing the tear fall from Raoul’s empty eyes and unable to stop himself he watched as it silently made its way down the pale cheek. 

Tarring himself away he stalked down to his layer, and tried his best to ignore the lingering image of the defeated look on the blond’s face. ‘He is nothing to me, just another idiotic viscount’ he told himself. That didn’t cause the image to disappear however. Irritated he banged his fist on the wall, ignoring the sharp pain it caused. ‘He’s just another ignorant fool’ he reminded himself. SO why didn’t the words quite ring true? Throwing himself in front of his organ he began to pound away, trying to forget everything that had happed that day. 


	4. Chapter 4

Henri stared at the prone blond form lying as if dead on the bed. His eyes were open, but seemed even more unseeing and unfocused than normal. Now and then a tear would leak out, and unstopped would roll down the depressed face only to fall onto the pillow, leaving a damp trail in its wake. Raoul had been in this state for three days now, and frankly Henri was extremely worried. He was not exactly sure what had happened that day, but he had a few theories; all of which involved a certain opera ghost. Henri had been very much aware of Raoul’s feelings for the ghost all along, but had never said anything because he had approved. In fact he’d been quite happy about them, it had been nice to see the blond taking an interest in life again. Ever since the accident he’d been almost soulless, going through his tasks and duties without really feeling anything. Now however je was not so sure that he should have permitted these feelings to grow; he was certain that should nothing change Raoul would simply stop fighting and fade away. He could not sit idly by and watch that happen, he’d know the blond since childhood, and indeed he had practically raised the boy. Mind made up Henri decided that he needed to send word to the ghost of the opera populaire. 

_Cher Monsieur Ghost,_

_I am writing you to ensure that you are informed of the dire situation we have found ourselves in. I am not aware of what passed between you and the Viscount three days past, but I have however seen the destruction it has caused. I am afraid that Mr. Raoul was not as well as he appeared to be. Ever since the incident he has been struggling to come to terms with the results. He has formed an emotional mask to hide this from most people, but since he met you he took a turn for the better. Over the past few months he has been slowly, but steadily improving. However since the event I mentioned at the start of this letter his mental health has been very quickly deteriorating, and as a result so has his physical health. I beg of you, please come and resolve whatever issues lie in between you two! I fear if you do not do so soon there will not be another chance._

_Sincerely Henri butler to his grace Raoul Viscount de Chagny._

After re-reading the letter twice Henri felt satisfied, and after bidding one of the older maids to watch over Raoul headed out towards the opera populaire, and more importantly towards its ghost.

Said ghost may not have been in as bad a state as Raoul, but no one could say he’d been even remotely happy since the fight. The image of that tear had been haunting him day and night. He didn’t know what to think anymore. Just days ago his student, his protégé, the girl he “loved” had left without even really saying goodbye. And then just when he’d thought he was permanently alone once again in had walked that infuriating Viscount! The strangest thing was that the blond’s presence hadn’t been irritating; far from it actually it had been comforting. He had to his shock realised that he’d become strangely fond of the young man. 

Raoul had become a constant presence in his life, and slowly without realising it he’d come to almost depend on that presence. The boy was smoothing, calm as water on a clear day and passionate as fire when you managed to rile him up. He was always willing to listen, and always seemed to have a kind word to offer no matter how awful Erik was being. He had seen Erik at his best and at his worst. He’d born all the teasing, the taunts, and the insults. He had not taken them sitting down, not at all, but he’d never born a lasting grudge. And to add to that he’d always come back-every single time. That was something only one other person could claim. But these revelations brought him no closer to an explanation as to why the image of that tear would not seem to leave his mind for even a second. 

Just as that thought drifted through his head an alarm sounded shaking him out of his revive. Erik tensed, someone had entered box five without permission. Not even stopping to think he was on his feet, and on his way to discover the intruder’s intentions. The sight that greeted him from pillar however was most definitely not what he was expecting. It was not the annoying, irritating, pitiful creatures that the opera house called managers, nor was it a curious chorus girl on a dare or indeed any member of the opera house at all. It wasn’t even the blond Viscount come to claim retribution or some such thing. It was instead said blond’s butler armed only with a letter. Erik watched curiously as the man-Henri- he believed left the letter on one of the seats, and swiftly found his way out. Now Erik was truly puzzled, why would the man go to such efforts, and put himself in such risk for a simple letter? And one that he’d written at that or at least Erik assumed that Henri had written it as the hand writing was not Raoul’s.

Double checking that the coast was clear he slipped out of his hiding place, grabbed the letter and slipped back in. Deciding that he would prefer to be in his layer for this he headed back down. After he’d taken a seat in his chair he stared at the letter with and with trembling fingers-wait trembling fingers? Erik glared at the treacherous appendages, he was not nervous about what this letter contained, not at all. It could say that Raoul had gone and drowned himself for all he cared! Unbidden an image of a lifeless Raoul floating on the river with eyes that held nothing at all, and soaked black hair clinging to his face near to his very blue lips found its way into Erik’s mind causing him to shudder. Okay so maybe he did care a bit about what the letter would say, and why Raoul couldn’t write and deliver it himself. But why did he care? That was the question that had been haunting him for the past few days. Why after his “love” left did he spend his time thinking about the blond? Why was he more worried about where Raoul was then where Christine was? 

Shaking these thoughts out of his head Erik shoved his worries to the back of his mind, and steadying his hands reached for the letter once again. Quickly breaking the seal Erik scanned the letter and unable to believe what he had seen re-read it carefully. After he had finished he clenched his hand around the letter. He was terrified that the Viscount would die, or that ne may already be dead. All Erik could hear was the sound of his frantic heart beat resounding in his ears. Suddenly he once again found himself furious. How dare that man do this to him! It was all Raoul’s fault, Erik was sure of it. He had stuck himself into his head and now he was faking sick……Erik sighed softly. Even he knew that that was ridiculous. The blond was incapable of doing the first, and wouldn’t do the second. Raoul was far too kind, polite, and proper to do something like that. Erik hadn’t realised it, but well he’d been thinking of the blond a small smile had made its way onto his face. 

But that meant the blond really did need help. Erik felt his heart give another lurch. He knew that he had to go to him; he was incapable of just letting the blond die. Erik once again found himself frozen in shock at that thought, but he realised that it was the truth. He could not let Raoul die, for the boy was **his**. Raoul had become his the moment he started working for Erik’s opera house, in a business sense and had become Erik’s in a personal sense when he started coming back. It was for this reason alone that he would have the boy. 

Determination spread through his body making Erik feel more alive than ever. Making certain that his mask was on, and his face was hidden he slipped through the tunnels around his home. He never stopped to think about the risks he was taking. He knew where the Viscount lived as Raoul himself has shown him the mansion when they were trying to decide on a meeting place, so finding the man would not be a problem. No, the problem was that the building was on the other side of Paris, and so at least an hour’s walk away even for Erik. And that gave Raoul and hour more to...Erik shook these thought’s out of his head. Even the blond wouldn’t dare be so insolent as to die on him! Even so Erik decided that it would probably be best to take a horse. Since he would be traveling in the open Erik grabbed a black scarf to wrap around his face, disguising the far too well-known mask. 

Unhitching his horse Erik leaped onto its back. He took a moment to appreciate the irony, like a prince out of a fairy tale he was rushing off to rescue his ‘damsel’ in distress, except fittingly the horse was black, the color that represented darkness. He did have to wonder how he seemed to have gone from ‘villain’ of the opera house to hero, but now was not the time to figure that out. 

He made it to the de Chagney estate in record time. Luckily the estate was surrounded by a small forest where he could hide Caesar*. After doing so he scrutinized the house. Last time he’d been here Raoul had pointed out which window was his “in case of urgent business so you won’t scare the staff”. It was funnily enough the room built into the estate’s one small turret. Raoul had told him that as a child he’d adored the view, and now that he couldn’t see it he still found joy in feeling the breeze and smelling the fresh air. 

Spotting a large patch of ivy Erik used it to climb onto the roof. He appeared to be in luck today as Raoul’s window was open. Slipping in he made certain that there was no servants around before locking the door and turning to face the bed. 

He felt his breath rush out of his body when he finally noted the blond’s form. Raoul hadn’t really moved since Henri had left to go to the opera house hours prior. Erik reached out tentatively, and sensing no response brushed against Raoul’s cheek. He felt incredibly alarmed when Raoul gave no response to his touch. With an ice cold heart he reached out again and placed his hand over the blond’s heart. He nearly collapsed with relief when he felt a steady heart beat under his hand. 

“Raoul” he whispered sadly. What had he done? Raoul had only ever been kind to him, and he’d hurt the boy so much that he was literally dying in front of his eyes. It didn’t matter that for once in his life it had been caused by an honest to god accident. 

“No” he said his determination coming back full force. He would not let Raoul die. Brushing a lock of blond hair tenderly out of the blond’s eyes he whispered with certainty “you will live”. He wouldn’t let **his** patron, **his** Raoul, **his** love? Yes his love. He realised now that he truly did love Raoul. He loved the way he laughed, the way he always seemed to focus on Erik when he was talking even though he couldn’t see, and most importantly loved the way the blond seemed to accept his whole being. Yes Raoul was **his** love and he would NOT let him die!

The Viscount had not moved from his position on the bed, but he seemed somehow changed to Erik’s eyes. His face seemed more relaxed, as though he could sense that everything would be alright now. His cheeks had a bit of color in them, and he could have sworn that the slight movement he could spot form Raoul’s chest had not been there seconds ago. He was breathing…Erik’s gaze landed on the blond’s parted lips. Try as he might he could not tear his gaze away. Raoul’s lips were the loveliest shade of pink, and seemed to glisten in the light. They seemed to be calling to him. 

Never one to resist temptation Erik leaned over and captured those lips for his own. The Viscount tasted sweet, like the finest of wines with a hint of something that reminded Erik of summer underlined with a taste that could only be described as Raoul. Pulling away regretfully Erik noticed the blond’s eyes fluttering. He began bending over to steal another kiss before the blond awoke when he heard the unmistakable sound of a key being inserted into the door. Freezing for only a moment Erik took one last look at Raoul before acting on instinct and fleeing back through the window seconds before the blond’s eyes opened and Henri stepped into the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *-in the books it says that the horse Erik stole is named Caesar so I used that.


	5. Chapter 5

Raoul blinked in confusion as he sat up. Reaching he felt around him. After assuring himself that he really was in his own room he placed a hand to his lips. He could have sworn that someone had been kissing him a moment ago. 

“A dream I suppose” he murmured to himself startling Henri who whirled around quickly; eyes widening at the sight of the blond. 

“Viscount” he cried. Tears filled his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. “Your awake” he whispered, barely believing what he saw. He was terrified that it was simply a dream, or a vision. Raoul nodded, puzzled at the terror in his butler’s voice. 

“Yes, of course I am. What is going on Henri?” The last thing I remember is…”here he paused to swallow the pain and bitterness he felt at the memory before continuing. “Is getting into the carriage after my er disagreement with the ghost.”

“You slipped into a comatose state” Henri explained. Raoul’s eyes widened in surprise. He knew that the ghost’s words had affected him, but he’d never imagined that the effect would be anywhere near this dire. He shook his head quickly, he refused to allow his emotions to cloud his judgement again and dwelling on it wouldn’t help anything. 

“How long” he asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

“Three days” Henri answered immediately. He’d been expecting the question. Raoul sighed, that wasn’t too bad. He’d been afraid that it would be much worse. If he showed up at the opera house tomorrow he could pretend that this had never happened. 

“I’d be much obliged if you could fetch me some lunch” Raoul requested kindly. Henri nodded and hurried off to do so and to inform the rest of the staff of Raoul’s awakening. 

The moment Henri was out of the room Raoul swung his legs around and slipped out of his bed. Grabbing the bed post to steady himself he waited for the wave of dizziness that had hit him so subside. Once it had he carefully made his way over to the window. He was slightly surprised to find it open, but figured that the servants wanted fresh air in his room. Allowing a small smile to grace his face the blond stuck his head out, enjoying the feel of the breeze teasing his hair and the sun on his face. 

Erik felt his breath catch at the sight of the fully awake blond. After escaping from the room he’d given into his urges and stuck around. He was very glad he had done so. In the afternoon sun Raoul’s blond hair shimmered like gold, and with the wind blowing it gently he looked like one of the fay. Add his blissful smile, and the rare sparkle in his eyes and he was more than irresistible to Erik. But he forced himself to hold back. He knew that this was neither the place nor the time the time. The blond would be his; that he was sure of. But he could afford to take his time, after all the blond’s heart was already in his possession, he simply had to ‘help’ the blond realise this. And then he would be at Erik’s side where he belonged.

Already plotting Erik slipped down the same ivy he’d used to climb up. Once on the ground he spared one last glance up at his blond before carefully making his way back into the forest. From there he mounted his horse and began the journey back to the opera house.

Raoul was at that moment also plotting. Unfortunately for him his plans all revolved around avoiding a certain opera ghost, something that said ghost had no intention of permitting. He figured that if he showed up at the opera house the next day and acted as if nothing had happened he could continue as per normal. And better yet, he figured that the opera ghost was still angry which would make it easy to avoid prolonged contact with him. Feeling happy with his plan Raoul turned and headed back towards his bed for something to eat and get some real sleep.

The next day Raoul; ignoring Henri, headed down to the opera house. It was a lovely day, the sun was shining and it was pleasantly warm without being too hot. Raoul himself was in a rather good mood. He was confident that the ghost, who was probably mourning Christine’s departure, would likely not seek him out. He intended to check on things quickly, and then take his leave for another couple of days. 

Erik however had other plans. Sitting casually on the roof of the opera house he watched the people below him go about their business with indifference. A small smile was on his lips as he thought about the viscount he was waiting for. He spotted the blond immediately when he arrived. 

“You will be mine” he whispered again to the oblivious viscount as he disappeared into the shadows. Raoul blinked and looked up slightly confused. He thought he’d just heard…..no, it must have just been the wind he decided. He snorted slightly, yes wind and wishful thinking. Forcing the tears from his eyes he faked a bright smile and headed inside to do what he’d come to do. 

The managers oblivious as they were never suspected that there was anything wrong with the viscount and were quite willing to do what they considered their job to be. In other words they spent an hour complaining er informing him about everything wrong in the opera house. Raoul mostly tuned them out and smiled his way through it with a few well-placed nods helping him along. Finally the hour was over, and after a few suggestions Raoul found himself manager free. Letting out a sigh of relief he started on his customary round of the opera house. He was walking slightly more briskly then normal so he supposed it was not a huge surprise when he bumped into something. No, it was what he bumped into that was the surprise.

Erik smirked down at the man he held tightly in his grasp. “You should be more careful wandering around such a dangerous place monsieur, you could run into something” he teased. Raoul gulped and tried without success to free himself. Erik tightened his grip on the blond, now that he had him he had no intention of letting him go. 

“So sorry monsieur” Raoul whispered with his head down; a small blush on his face that made him even more adorable in Erik’s opinion. “I’ll be more careful from now on” he added, once again attempting to free himself without success. 

“What has you in such a hurry Raoul” Erik asked, his lips just brushing the blond’s ear causing him to shudder.

“No-nothing” the blond stuttered too nervous and confused to answer properly,

“I’m sure there must be something” Erik persisted smirking.

“Nothing of importance” Raoul replied; having gathered his wits together again. “Now if you could kindly release me so that I may be on my way” he added. 

“Leaving so soon viscount? That would be awful rude of you” Erik said, not loosening his grip a bit. Raoul opened and closed his mouth, unsure of how to reply to that. “Especially since you were planning to do so without even alerting me to your presence.” Erik added a note of pain in his voice. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me” Raoul admitted softly keeping his face pointed downward, the blush making a reappearance. “The last time we saw each other, you” he stopped unsure of how to end the sentence. 

“Seemed to want you out of my life?” Erik asked softly. Raoul nodded slightly. “I suppose I must apologise for that, I was upset about Christine and” Raoul cut him off by placing a finger to his lips. 

“I know” Raoul whispered, a radiant smile lighting up his face. Erik tightened his grip on the blond, bringing him even closer and breathing in his sent. “Erik?” Raoul asked in confusion. It was Erik’s turn to blush. 

“I was afraid you’d never want to see me again after what I said” Erik forced himself to admit. Raoul’s heart jumped in his chest. Erik actually cared about him? His smile got even bigger, a fact that did not pass by unnoticed by the ghost. 

“Of course I’d want to see you again! We’re friends aren’t we?” Raoul reassured him. Unfortunately his voice decided to betray him and caught on the word friends.

“Yes we are, for the moment” Erik replied his smirk back full force.

“For the moment?” Raoul asked timidly. He’d thought that they’d just settled their issues. Was Erik still going to end their friendship? He refused to allow himself to believe that there was any way they could possible become something more than friends. Instead of answering verbally Erik leaned down and with surprising gentleness placed his lips to the blond’s. Raoul gasped in surprise and Erik used the opportunity to slip his tongue into the blond’s mouth. He tasted even more divine then the ghost remembered and Erik was certain that he wouldn’t ever be able to live without that taste again.

Raoul for his part had gotten over his shock and was kissing back with all his might. He was surprised to find that the ghost tasted like fine chocolate. Reluctantly he pulled away when the need for air became too much. Panting slightly he reached out and placed his hand on Erik’s cheek.

“What will happen now?” he asked. “I can’t be Christine” he forced himself to add. Erik was rather taken aback at Raoul’s statement. 

“I don’t want Christine” Erik protested. Raoul raised an eyebrow, clearly showing his disbelief. “I did once I admit, but she was never anything but a farfetched fantasy. You’re real! It wasn’t Christine who I met with week after week, it wasn’t Christine who talked sense into the managers for me and it wasn’t Christine who saw beneath the mask to and discovered who I really was. You did that Raoul. It was you who managed to see me as a man, and it’s you I want.” 

Raoul stood shocked at the admission. Glancing around Erik insured that they were alone before removing his mask and placing the viscount’s hand over the twisted flesh of his face. Confused at the other’s actions Raoul slowly ran his hand over Erik’s face. Comprehension dawned on him as he finally realised why the other lived as he did. Slipping onto his tiptoes he kissed the cheek softly.

The second his lips left the ghost’s cheek Raoul found himself enveloped once again in the man’s arms. This time instead of trying to get away Raoul reached up and wrapped his arms around Erik; who fought off his initial response and relaxed into the blond’s arms. 

“Mine” he growled possessively into the viscount’s ear. Raoul who wasn’t particularly surprised by this laughed and assured the ghost that he was indeed his. 

After standing there basking in each other’s presence for an undeterminable amount of time Raoul gently pulled away. This time Erik permitted him to step out of his hold, but not without a small growl of protest.

“We should probably move somewhere more private” Raoul pointed out. Erik blinked in surprise; he’d forgotten that they were in the middle of a hallway. Without saying a word he reached out and grabbed the blond’s hand, and began leading him towards his layer. Raoul tightened his grip on Erik’s as they descended. He knew exactly where they were going, and to him it felt like coming home. Then again he figured that as long as Erik was there anywhere would feel like home. Little did he know that Erik’s thoughts were almost identical to his own. 

“We’re here” Erik said after a couple minutes. He didn’t however let go of Raoul’s hand. Said blond simply nodded contentedly. Erik led them over to the settee and smirking sat down, pulling the surprised blond along with him.

“Erik!” Raoul protested without any real anger. 

“Yes Raoul?” Erik asked ‘innocently’.

“Never mind” Raoul sighed resignation settling over him. Despite this there was still a smile on his face. Erik was annoying yes, but he was used to the ghost’s taunting by this point. Reaching behind him he pulled Erik down for another kiss. ‘Yes’ he thought as the ghost’s lips touched his, ‘I refuse to let Erik’s attitude destroy this’. 

**Author's Note:**

> The original idea and what can be seen as an intro to this story can be found at: 
> 
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6884134/1/Look-My-Way


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